Pondering Mission

It's been over a month since we've returned from Venezuela. I haven't written about it likely because there would be so much to write about I wouldn't know where to start! I have to say that this to date has been the most intense short-term foreign mission trip for me yet. More to come . . . 

Sitting in Miami

Sitting on the 25th level of a pretty chic hotel, looking out over the Miami skyline, I struggle. Having breakfast alone, I am searching for reasons and cannot seem to focus. I want to come out of my skin! I really shouldn't be here right now. Some twist of fate has me stuck in Miami, with time on my hands and I don't know what to do.


I have been floundering in my heart for sure. Where does my passion lie anymore? It is like walking through mud again. I get angry with myself for getting here - for not giving everything over to him - for being ambivalent and distracted! This just sucks! Also, I miss my wife!

LORD, help me draw right up to you, come into my heart and take over, Holy Spirit help me surrender completely! Jesus, you are and ever will be my savior!

So I get back to my hotel room and on my iGoogle set for scripture I find:

Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world- -the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions--is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever. (1 John 2:15-17)

So, I see an irony in this - though I do not believe I long for these things, does purpose get clouded by these things? Or have I slipped unintentionally into the world through busyness and apathy, by taking my eye off of Him, through the emotions of desire? Oh . . . the journeys of a pilgrim . . .